Easing Back-To-School Anxiety in Children

 As we fast approach the start of the new school year, it can be a very exciting time for children. However, it might also prompt a spike in anxiousness for some as well. Whether they are returning to school, changing to a new school, or for first-timers starting kindergarten, the transition can often be quite stressful for the both child and their parents.

As a parent, it’s important to recognize that back-to-school anxiety is normal and common. It’s also important not to minimize or punish expressions of anxiety, but rather, respond in a validating and helpful way.

What can you do to help ease your child’s back-to-school worries?

1. Listen to their worries and validate their concerns

Often the best way to address stress and anxiety is simply to encourage your child to talk to you about their worries. What is s/he worried about? Why does s/he expect that to happen? Have your child share their fears and talk about what’s on their mind. Listen to your child without any judgements and validate their feelings. You should normalize back to school anxiety and let them know they aren’t alone in feeling this way. Be sure not to invalidate their concerns by saying things like, “You shouldn’t feel anxious, school will be so fun!”. Sometimes, being able to express how they’re feeling is all a child needs to help them channel their worries and feel better.

2. Develop a plan

Take the opportunity to coach your child on how to cope by creating an active plan with concrete solutions. Start by encouraging your child to re-direct attention away from worries and towards positives. You can ask them “What are three things that you are most excited about your first day?” Chances are that the fun aspects of school are simply overlooked by their repetitive worries and anxiety. Working with your child encourages them to think of ways themselves to solve his or her problems. Ask: “What is the worst possible thing that could happen? What are some ways we can deal with that situation?” Giving your child the tools they need to cope allows them to be ready for unexpected situations.

3. Role-Model Behaviour

Children often model their behaviour from their parents so it is important to understand how your own demeanour may affect your child. The more confident and calm you are, the more your child will believe that they can be brave in handling their anxiety. It is also important to remember to be supportive, yet firm with your child.

Here are some examples:

·      When saying goodbye in the morning, say it cheerfully, but only once

·      Don’t inadvertently reward your child’s protest, crying, or tantrums with allowing them to avoid school

·      “Tell me what you are worried about, so that we can talk about it”

·      “I can see that going to school makes you scared, and you still have to go”

If your child’s back to school anxiety is causing lots of stress on them and the family, consider consulting a mental health professional. Here are a few things to look for that may indicate that your child’s anxiety is a cause for concern:

·      Your child has increased irritability or temper tantrums when they separate from you

·      Your child complains of frequent stomach aches

·      You notice increased fatigue and trouble sleeping

·      Your child has difficulty getting along with other children

·      Your child is more clingy than normal

·      Your child looks for constant reassurance about their worries

A trained therapist can help children and parents better understand the child’s symptoms and work together on resolving the issue. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a common therapy used to teach the child and parents strategies to address anxious behaviours. You know your child the best. If you sense that their back-to-school anxiety may be rooted in something more serious contact one of our clinicians at Brookhaven Psychotherapy.

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